A Thought : 1g. To Compromise, to conform or to chill?
A Thought : 1g. To compromise, to conform or to chill? It is the holy trinity of what is our major issues. Compromising is definitely the hardest problem we face as a civilization. We do have several factors that make it so hard for us to truly look at what we bring to the table. Relationships with one another are hard for us all. Currently we have been exposed to a lot of these situations. Which is all they should be "situations". We all know that we will never be changed with our own thoughts, traits or habits unless we make the effort ourselves. I never say rollover conform or do what everyone else is. However, that is why we all should own our flaws and our traits. I have some fucking "Horrible" opinions on things. I constantly try to face theses personal problems daily. Wether it be from days of me receiving a fare share of fists connections for speaking my mind or being a White guy in a city of turmoil. All this nonsense we as human beings selfishly fight for is insane. I was 12 years old when I was jumped because of "Rodney King”. I was white. I get it. The police officers were. Guilty by prejudice profiling. But seriously I was only guilty of being white. I didn't even have a copy of Minor Threat at that point. Matter fact at that time frame I was going to one of the worst schools in the nation. Even had Jaime Escalante of "Stand and Deliver" fame teach at this school where I was 10% minority among what we are told are minorities. Remember we are all minorities depending where we live. Needless to say it was a pretty rough time. Especially when at this time I also was doing weekend visits to a maximum security prison Johnny Cash sang about and N.W.A. and Eazy -E were my main source of music other than my mother's rotations of hair metal. I understood what they were talking about as I was a minority. I was guilty even if I was not. Though that was just the moment that more hate entered into my life. I was not Black, Brown or Yellow. I was just White. The only true difference we had between us other than our DNA in which that case would mean truly we are all different is our outside appearance. I lived in poverty. I had hardships. Way too many to even touch base on. I had major battles not only with others but as myself. I lived in a city of blue and a city of red. Bloods and Crips existed. I even was in the middle of a drive by. However this gave me a perspective of something most of you will never see from a first hand experience. Which is the reason why I feel people should travel. Try things new and embrace what every person has to offer regardless of race, religion and so on. By the summer of 1991 life would be drastically changed again as I was sent to live with my sisters' father which at this time seemed like a prison sentence. Not necessarily that it was as I will continue on this a little later but it was for a 13 year old boy who evolved in a situation were drugs, guns and death were very apparent. As I was sent there I was stripped of what I knew and was put into the land of Roy Rogers. Literally my grandmother Dottie bowled with Dale Evans. I was basically a "Whigger" living in the wild west of Apple Valley, CA. It was now the clash of a new minority situation. I started High School living in some ways out of a suit case as that is how my mother sent me. It was really in my mind hell. I wore dickies that I could actually wear without a belt now and had shirts that I still consider too large for me now. Regardless the school was filled with cowboy hats and biggots. I got harassed and even spent more time probably trying to fit in with only those who I could identify with needless to say I have lived both sides of the spectrum. Been a minority amongst so called minorities and minority amongst my supposed great "White People" . At this time I was more than frustrated. I had my sister and brother over 500 miles away living in the hell that I knew existed with my mother's decisions while I was expected to conform to my new living situation with at one time felt as nothing but strangers. Like I said technically in my head I was in prison. I had my sister's father who didn't understand me. Shit he still doesn't. Regardless I have nothing but love and respect for this man that I could never convey in just words. Though at this time he, my future step mother and step sisters were just strangers and I was to join their world. Which probably seemed like an asteroid hitting them out of no where. The amount of perspective I can see it must of been stressful for all of them which I am always sorry for. My step mother and I even though we probably shared more similarities in our personal background at the time. Did not get along. The differences between houses was so extreme. The apartment I came from before this sentence you’ve seen before raided on COPS. Way too many hardships, way too many drugs, and definitely way too many people with demons. The only reason I ever returned to this place was for my brother and sister still being there. I even felt guilty as I was now in a house which in my eyes was a complete Martha Stewart country home. In some ways I had it better but I knew what my siblings were still stuck in a hell even as I was dwelling in another realm of my own inferno. Clashes of my upbringing from teachings that I’d never teach to an OCD woman who I saw as a drill sergeant. During this stay we would be two locomotives butting heads. I give so much credit to My Father trying to mediate the war. Little did I know these 3 years I would grow to value a lot more later in life. For that I am truly grateful. I don’t get to tell them that as much as I should however for that for that period in life however I have made amends with them and they know my feelings of gratitude. Even if it took way after I graduated for us to see each others prospective. Regardless of it all I graduated as the of 1995 Apple Valley Sun Devil. I made honor roll the last 3 years. Here we are 2016 and even as I stare at my Rodney King autographed photo that says “Can’t we all just get along”. I can honestly say that everyone that was apart of that fucked up police beating was GUILTY. Rodney too… Though the violence of our actions for these causes are too extreme as the only true victims are truly all of us. Was I at fault for the L.A.P.D.? No. Did I get my ass jumped several times for it? Yes. Am I bitter? No. The reason being is we all must make better decisions. So my thoughts for today is we all need to just chill. Our differences is what makes us “US” and it also makes this world great. The only thing that shows our ugliness is the failure to see our fellow species as equal regardless of our differences. Imagine what kind of world we lived in if we were all gunning for each other because our differences. Such a horrible thought. So as you go about your day just remember as you use your phone from China, eating sushi brought to you by Japan, using something manufactured from Mexico, to even just drinking a cup of Coffee from anywhere in the world than the good ole’ U.S.A. (A little sarcasm should be used in saying that.). Our differences are way too important to our daily lives to put walls, point fingers or throw fists. We can not keeping allowing people who choose to break a law to cause this unrest. It doesn’t matter who you VOTE for. We will still be here. We will still be different. We will still have these problems. It is up to us to embrace one another and also hold people accountable regardless of RACE. The only real criminals are the ones who break the law and that goes for our Law Enforcement as well. If you want to get “RESPECT". You must also show “Respect". That however may just take me into a thought for tomorrow as trust me I have more Police stories than you could imagine… However, I’m not bitter as sometimes I was at fault. Sometimes they were. Either way We all have to Chill the FUCK OUT. On that note. I love you all for being you and wish you a safe day… Sincerely me aka Jeffery Joel Page.
Ps. Thank You for everyone who has ever been in my life as I am happy with who I am. Even if you might of not been good to me well shit happens. I have not always been able to convey thoughts this well. Seriously though your actions helped shape me.That even goes to Nolan no last name as I believe he was keeping it real and it went wrong aka he was murdered for his mouth. But even as he bullied me my freshman year called me a cracker, made fun of me for my appearence , my family and pushed buttons for a half year until I finally called him a “Nigger” trying to stand up (It is a horrible world I know.) but I was 13 and his older brother and friends jumped me after school for it. So don’t Judge. As we all do things we regret or can’t necessarily change. Yet if we can not learn from it and grow and make amends then you are truly just being the problem which seems to be what everyone seems to be a part of. Laugh at our differences. Watch a comedian. Put life in perspective. Cheers to all of you my friends from this planet called “Earth"